I Love My Child…But Sometimes I Can’t Stand Him

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By James Lehman, MSW

You’d do anything for your child, but you feel guilty about admitting the truth, even to yourself. The truth is, sometimes you don’t like him very much. It’s a secret that many parents of acting-out kids share but rarely confess to anyone. James Lehman explains how dealing with a difficult child can take its toll on the parent-child relationship, and he gives you some practical advice on how to handle it.

-Empowering Parents Editor

When parents say they don’t like their child, I think that dislike almost always stems from their child’s inappropriate behavior. These parents are understandably frustrated because they’re tired of the constant backtalk, yelling and arguing. Or they might not like the way their child treats them, their siblings, or their teachers at school. And personally, I can ...

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How to “Win” an Argument with Your Child (The Answer Will Surprise You

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By Janet Lehman, MSW

How do you win an argument with your child? You can’t. Instead, the best and most effective approach to win an argument is to refuse to take part in the argument in the first place.

Here’s how to do that.

When you engage in arguments with your child, over time he will begin to believe that he is your peer and that he has the power to challenge you. The more powerful he thinks he is, and the more fighting and arguing gets him what he wants, the more he will use fighting and arguing as a way to solve his problems.

It’s important to learn how to manage this type of behavior in your kids. And one of the best ways to manage it is to understand that you can’t really “win” an argument with your kid. In fact, you lose once you allow yourself to get dragged into the argument.

I know it ...

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