What are your shame beliefs? feelings, triggers?

~Taken from the book The Shame factor~

  • You have an irrational fear of being exposed as a fraud/phony (impostor syndrome) in your career, job, and or role as a manager.
  • You cannot allow anyone to be too emotionally close for fear they might see your awful secrets and constant failings (your true bad self).
  • You constantly worry what other people think or know about you and you believe that their opinion can’t be positive.
  • You experience terrifying emotions about being embarrassed.
  • You privately believe that you are an “angry” man/woman.
  • When you experience intense feeling of rage or anger afterward you experience intense feelings or regret and shame.
  • Your emotional cycle of shame and regret are nonstop.
  • You feel like there is a secret inside of you that cannot ever come out or be seen by anyone you know and love.
  • You tend to do things that are self-defeating.
  • Sometimes you purposely try to physically hurt yourself.
  • You are privately that people think you are a bad and worthless person a fraud or a phony.
  • You blame yourself for anything that happens negatively in your life (because you deserve it).
  • You have an explosive temper and or anger management and self-acceptance issues.
  • You have a history of violence and or domestic violence.
  • You have become emotionally overwhelmed and feel “crazy” when you express any of your anger, frustration, or aggression.
  • You experience emotional black outs with no clear memory of what you said or did (not drug or alcohol related) when you become emotionally defensive or angry.
  • Your feeling of anger or rage scare you so much that you will do anything to suppress them; which causes you to feel depressed and hopeless.
  • You have strong shameful feelings about sex, your sexual orientation, and or your sexuality.
  • You have feelings of rage and wanting to physically hurt or punish others when you feel dismissed, discredited, or disrespected.
  • You are secretly waiting for bad things to happen to you as punishment from God and or the universe (because you feel like you deserve them).
  • You don’t really like yourself and secretly feel like a loser.
  • You sincerely believe that no one can care about you or love you because you are “damaged goods”.
  • You fantasize about dying when you feel intense feelings of shame.
  • You can’t accept compliments only criticism.
  • You feel this awful shame about yourself most of the time to a greater of lesser degree, it’s part of your life.

 

 

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